But his effort recently earned him a nomination for the International Christian Visual Media (ICVM) Best Actor award.
McAdams, Jr., who as a young man moved to California with $200 in his pocket with the dream of becoming an actor and who met with failure many times along the way, said being nominated for the award was overwhelming.
“When someone else acknowledges your acting on this level, it’s incredibly meaningful,” McAdams said. “Being the writer and director, you create the dialogue—but you still have to deliver it truthfully. Just being part of any film is a privilege. To be nominated for acting is beyond anything I ever imagined.”
The film is close to McAdams’ heart because he lost his father four months prior to production, and the loss reopened the grief of losing his younger brother in a motorcycle accident years earlier.
“All those emotions went directly into the performance,” McAdams said. “It’s scary, because you’re returning to places that are deeply painful.”
McAdams first learned about the nomination from a friend through text in October and honestly had no idea what he was talking about.
“I later learned that the Crown Award finalists had been privately announced,” McAdams said. “Needless to say, I was shocked, but also incredibly grateful and humbled.”
Reflecting on the nomination, McAdams was quick to give credit to his fellow castmates and the level of talent present in the film.
“When you surround yourself with like-minded actors, many of whom have experienced their own trauma, everyone brings something unique to the table,” McAdams said. “Those performances blend together into one cohesive story, all with the same goal in mind.
“You’re only as good as your scene partner. They can either pull you down or take you somewhere you didn’t think you could go. I genuinely don’t think there’s a weak performance in this film, and that elevated everything.”
That being said, McAdams said his performance was not without its challenges.
“I’m a method actor, and that can be dangerous because you’re revisiting past trauma to access emotional truth,” McAdams said. “Sometimes you go too deep, and it takes time to come back from that place. This film is based on a true story—losing my brother in a motorcycle accident and watching my mother forgive the driver within ten days. Revisiting that was heartbreaking, but I wanted to show how powerful forgiveness truly is.”
McAdams also met his future wife, Sarah Reeves, on the set of the film, and said winning the Best Actor award would be very special for him.
“I’ve been nominated for writing and directing before, but never for acting,” McAdams said. “I don’t typically see myself as an actor; I see myself as a filmmaker. I make movies for a living. I also come cheap, and I’m easy to work with, so there’s that.
“But acknowledgments like this give me the confidence to continue acting. Ironically, right before this nomination, I was putting together an acting reel. I showed it to someone I thought was a friend, and he told me I wasn’t an actor—that I should stick to directing. That hurt. But my wife doesn’t lie, and she told me I did great. I believe her.”
McAdams said there was also a tough lesson to learn.
“This industry can be very competitive, and not everyone wants to see you succeed,” McAdams said. “When I look at my fellow nominees—Dean Cain and Neal McDonough, I know their work well. Neal’s performance in The Last Rodeo is incredibly physical and emotionally layered. He was over-prepared in the best way. Dean Cain was hilarious in Little Angels, and comedy is hard. I never imagined myself in the Best Actor category alongside performers of this caliber, but as a director, I recognize great work when I see it.”
For McAdams, the film was a labor of love, but being nominated for Best Actor makes it particularly rewarding.
“A friend recently told me this is my most mature film, and I think that comes from living, learning, and understanding that being fully present in a scene is everything,” McAdams said. “I don’t want to act a character; I want to be the character. When that happens, it feels natural, and that’s what makes a performance work. I get to do what I love, so I already won.”
McAdams said the feedback on his film is generally positive and said one of the greatest feelings he gets is when a movie really resonates with someone, and they let him know.
“As a filmmaker, you try not to live in the world of reviews, because one bad review can ruin your day,” McAdams said. “I recently scrolled through the film’s comments on YouTube, and there are nearly a thousand comments, most of them incredibly encouraging.
That said, in the end, all it really takes is one. One person coming up after a screening, hugging you, and saying they connected with the film. Or telling you they feel like a better person after watching it, or that your performance gave them hope. That’s everything.”
McAdams’ next project is called Happy McDoogle: A Janitor With A Dream, and while he would not elaborate, McAdams said it would have a different tone than its predecessor.
“We’re aiming to reduce the number of Kleenex boxes this time around,” McAdams said. “We’re going with laughter.”
The 53rd Annual ICVM Crown Awards Ceremony will take place on Feb. 18, at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee.
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