Bigfoot is everywhere, so you’d better start believing

He’s everywhere.

Bigfoot, I mean, or Bigfeet if we’re into accurate plural labeling.

Lest you think Bigfoot/feet, however you choose to address him/her, only live in mountainous areas, you might be surprised to find they are literally just about everywhere. And they are quite likely watching — perhaps even as you are reading this very column.

As a T-shirt I once saw on the rack at Goodwill says — and, of course I bought it — Bigfoot knows where you are camping. A song written and performed by a lady named Loren Coleman in connection with the Hanobia, Oklahoma Bigfoot Festival reminds us “If you hunt Bigfoot, Bigfoot may hunt you.”

That’s not why I don’t go camping, mind you. If I wanted to sleep on something hard I’d check into a $20 motel — and I know this because, well, I have at certain junctures in my life.

And I’m not so much of a hunter — nothing against those who do. But as for me, deer and other animals would probably take bets with each other concerning which of my own feet I’d shoot first.

But back to my original point, Bigfoot is all around us. Even right here in Parker County.

In fact, sightings have taken place in 49 of the 50 states — with Hawaii actually having a short creature that otherwise has Bigfoot qualities.

And yes, there have been many sightings in Texas. There have been plenty in North Texas, according to the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (I have their app on my phone — no, it’s not nerdy).

Among those are some notable sightings that were reported on Highway 5 south of Aledo in 2011. BFRO Investigator Gary Christensen took the report.

“I work in the oil field industry hauling salt water, and at one site, we have something big walking around. I have seen it for myself, as have a few others,” the anonymous report began (many reporting choose to remain anonymous to as not to be ridiculed).

The report, which noted the sighting was around 2 a.m., also indicated that whatever it was, presumably a Bigfoot, was looking back — most likely with curiosity, but perhaps in self defense.

“But on the night of Aug. 26, 2011, I seen its eyes on the other side of the fence that is at least 9-10 feet high,” the reporter continued. “After I seen the eyes, it moved out of view, then started to throw rocks at the tank (a Bigfoot defense tactic).

“The first thing that caught my attention was the lack of wildlife sounds and the smell of a skunk (another Bigfoot quality), and the sound of something that sounded like a low growl. Another person had put a game camera up, and it got a picture of something blocking the camera 30 minutes before I had got there.

“I have seen other things in my time as a truck driver, but this is a little too close to home.”

Earlier, in June, another worker had a similar report.

“I had two lights on my tractor trailer and one on my hard hat so I can read gauges. I start to grab my stuff and am almost to the steps. I seen eyes light up from my hard hat light. They were about 20 feet from the compressor steps, on the other side of the fence by the creek,” the report began.

“Now I am a hog hunter, so I am used to seeing eyes until I was looking up at it. So I knew it was not a hog or a deer, or horse or cow.

“As it looked at me, and I stood there looking at it, it stepped out from behind a tree toward the fence. It looked at me, then turned so I could not see its eyes anymore, and it walked like a human into the creek. So I ran to my truck and called my boss. Now I am not scared of a man, but that was not a man.”

The BFRO has reports from Parker County dating to the mid-1970s. Here’s a list of incidents so far:

• October 1975 — A woman remembers an encounter not far from Brazos River.
• November 1976 — A man recalls strange occurrences as a youngster in Weatherford.
• December 1982 — While parking near Sunshine Lake, teens have a late night encounter.
• November 2010 — A Hunter flushes out a large creature when retrieving rabbit.
• June 2011 — A worker has late night encounter at gas well near Aledo.
• August 2011 — A gas field trucker has encounter at a wellhead near Aledo.
• July 2019 — Night time road crossing sighting four miles south of Weatherford.
• October 2020 — Daylight sighting on the Brazos River west of Weatherford.
• In all, there have been 259 sightings in Texas, according to the BFRO. The most (16) have been reported in Montgomery with Liberty (11) next.

In these parts, Parker has the most sightings with eight, followed by Palo Pinto and Denton County each with four.

Personally, I would love to see the big fella — from a distance, of course. I actually have a friend who runs the Sasquatch Outpost in Bailey, Colorado who takes folks out late at night to knock on trees — a way of communicating for Bigfoot. He’s asked me to come along and it is certainly on my bucket list.

My wife, the lovely Mrs. Junell, has said if I do ever see a Bigfoot I’ll be scared half to death. I tell her perhaps, but the half that stays alive will have a heck of a story to tell.

Which always makes me ask, if we’re scared half to death twice in the same lifetime do we die on the spot? If so, guess I’d better be happy with a single sighting.

By the way, the reports from the Aledo area also noted that two others saw it while pulling salt water out of the wells. It was reported one of the coworkers was so visibly shaken that he quit and moved to another state.

Unless it was Hawaii, there’s a chance Bigfoot is watching him there also.